"I'm not much of a writer," you say.
Or...
"I can't get people to pay attention."
Or even...
"I'm bad at marketing."
I call bullshit.
And you know what?
My daughter calls bullshit, too.
If you want to be good at anything, you can be good at anything.
You can write things that grab your audience.
Say things that pull them in.
Present in a way that compels people to act.
And make a profound difference...even if it seems like a pipe dream right now.
How do I know?
It's all because of a 13-year-old kid and the sport of volleyball.
See...this week, my daughter brought home a plaque.
She was named the PVAC Conference Player of the Year...as a junior. The first volleyball athlete in her school's history to win the award.
If the story started and ended here, it would be fine. A talented kid won an award. Good for you, kid...Nice one, Dad.
You'd read about it...
See a post on Facebook...
Maybe even like it or comment, "Congratulations!"
You'd move on...perhaps even with a smile on your face.
And, you'd miss the whole story. You'd have no idea what really happened.
"A talented kid won an award. Good for you, kid...Nice one, Dad."
This is about more than some kid winning an award.
It's about what anyone can learn from an otherwise normal 13-year-old kid turned 16-year-old, gritty, focused, award-winning volleyball player.
And it's about how you can become anything you want to be.
Let me take you back...
I'm not quite sure when it happened...when she got bit by the bug.
My daughter is obsessed with volleyball.
She lives it.
Breathes it.
LOVES it.
She started playing rec league when she was 11 or so, and something just clicked.
After a couple years, she wanted more.
She felt like she wasn't learning new skills, and the level of competition stayed the same, year after year. Everyone was getting older. No one was getting better.
So she decided to step it up and try out for elite volleyball prep...AKA Club Volleyball.
In the weeks before tryouts, she practiced the best she could. Going into her first tryout season? She felt ready.
But she wasn't.
She fell short.
Of course, she was disappointed. I remember her lying on her bed...head buried in the pillows...the muffled sounds of sobbing.
You know those life moments?
Those fork-in-the-road circumstances where—looking back—a single decision impacts the direction your life takes?
For my daughter, this was one of those moments.
She could have gone back to rec league. Hell...she could have quit.
Or, she could have decided she was in for something more. That's what she did.
Failure at this precise moment ignited a spark.
I had no idea she loved volleyball as much as she did.
Sure, she'd go to practice one evening a week. And, she'd play in a rec league match every Sunday for the ten or so weeks the league was operational.
But, that was about it.
I think that's why it hit me the way it did...When she said it to me after she got past the initial disappointment and got herself together.
"Dad, I want to play in college at the University of Maryland."
Now..in case you're not into volleyball...and before you gloss over one small detail, let me explain a bit deeper.
University of Maryland Volleyball is a Division I athletic program in the NCAA's Big 10 Conference. And, for all intents and purposes...
The Big 10 Conference represents the Major Leagues of college volleyball.
There are 14 teams in the Big 10. SEVEN of them are currently ranked in the top 25 programs in the NCAA.
When it comes to volleyball, Big 10 is big time.
Take a look; you'll see what I mean:
This was akin to 13-year-old-me saying I wanted to play third base for the Philadelphia Phillies.
While I was supportive, of course, I didn't take her too seriously.
We all have dreams: wishes of what we want to do or what we want to be. More often than not, those dreams stay just that. "They're not realistic," we learn to tell ourselves...
Of course this is all crap. Our 13-year-old brains are fortunate to not yet be infected by the sickness of sensibility.
So I'm sitting at the base of my daughter's bed as she's slowly pulling it together.
She asked me what I thought about her grand goal...the outcome that—in that moment—she wanted so badly...
"You can do anything you want," I said.
"But if you really want it, you have to think it through and take action consistently...even when you don't feel like it."
The thing that separates those that dream and those that live those dreams is focused action. When things get hard, most people stop.
I knew...I had been one of them.
"Break your goal down into milestones. Break those milestones down into smaller steps."
This was the advice I never had when I was 13. It was the best thing I could share. Her dream was NOT unrealistic...at least I was not going to let her believe it was.
"Take action on the steps that end in the milestones. Hit on those milestones, and you can reach your goal."
Her first major milestone was to make the high school varsity team as a freshman.
To do that, she listed the skills she would need to master.
Then she went to work.
This is how you make it happen.
She spent time with a coach…who taught her the right form.
She mastered her overhand serve…her setting...her digs.
And she practiced...purposefully.
She added a mark to a paper each day she worked and tacked it to her bedroom wall, right above her clock (to see it every morning).
Then, the amazing happened.
She made varsity as a freshman.
The hard work on serving paid off immediately...
For many, that may have been enough.
For a determined, gritty kid? A mere milestone...a small victory to show herself she was on the right track.
The next milestone seemed even more challenging to her parents:
She was going to be the starting setter by the end of the season.
Setter might be the toughest position on a volleyball court.
As a setter, you run the offense. You strive to always get the second touch every time the ball comes over the net. Then—in a snap—you decide which hitter gets the ball and where...and you get them the ball. If it's a good set, the hitter is in a position to make a great play. If it's not? Well...teams with poor setters can't win.
Even that basic explanation doesn't do the position justice:
Some argue that setter is the most important position on the court. And, for a freshman—with no club experience—to become the starter?
It would be understandable if this milestone did not happen.
But, no one told my daughter.
Guess who became the starting setter...
...by the end of her first season's third match.
And, these were only the first two milestones.
There are many quotes out there attributed to many people that essentially say the same thing:
"Becoming an overnight success takes years."
When you see the social media posts about someone's success, you can't know what's gone into it. You cannot fully know the effort...the dedication...the purpose.
My daughter has given me a first-hand account.
She works harder than anyone I know.
Her high school and Club teammates can attest to it.
She practices every single day.
Our front-door can attest to it.
She doesn't let silly things like weather or time get in her way.
Our garage can attest to it.
And it has been like this since that day she failed to make Club volleyball.
Of course, she did make Club the following season...and the one after that, too.
Because I have witnessed it all, I have no doubt she will accomplish what she sets out to accomplish forevermore.
The extra mile is never crowded.
Over the past three years, I have watched an otherwise normal 13-year-old girl transform herself into a superhero.
Through:
- A grand vision
- A detailed plan
- And focused, regular action
She has taught herself—and me—a system for achieving just about anything.
This hangs by her bedroom door.
This has affected her mindset beyond the game of volleyball.
And, it has taught me that even things I might otherwise consider outlandish dreams can absolutely, unequivocally happen.
My daughter no longer wants to play volleyball for the University of Maryland. But, I have no doubt she could have achieved that goal.
What she has accomplished is even more valuable than what any outcome could give her.
She has proven to herself that what we want to become is firmly in our control.
If you want to be good at anything, you can be good at anything.
I know I believe it. Do you?
"I'm not much of a writer," you say.
Or...
"I can't get people to pay attention."
Or even...
"I'm bad at marketing."
When you know your idea...your product...your offering can make a profound impact on an audience...an industry...even the world...
When you want to be able to explain things in a way that captivates, inspires, and motivates people to act...
When you want to become a great communicator so your message can make the impact your audience so richly deserves...
Start here.
My name is Zach Messler, and I'm the Messaging Guy.
Better yet...I'm Ella's dad.
